Planning the Next Move...

Okay, I've been in Korea for about 8 years now and I think it is enough. I love it here, really, I do but I think it is time for a change. Perhaps another international posting or even going back to Canada. I know my friends Sherilyn and Samantha are holding their breath starting as soon as they read the Canada bit, but really ladies, don't hold your breath... I've got until June left on my current contract!! :) But when I think about it, I haven't worked at home in 9 years. I've been in Korea or Oman that entire time. I've only got one year logged in education in Canada. My struggle with going home is landing a job in a timely manner and the costs involved in going home... I mean... there is the house (covered in international contracts), the car (usually not necessary in overseas job placements), and the loss of being extraordinary because I live somewhere besides Canada. *sigh* I don't know... but I do know that things in Korea are coming to a close for me. The future is wide open, scary and a little like jumping off a cliff... but isn't that kinda exciting!?!? So, if you are keen... check out my new website I am building in order to sell myself as a top educator out there. It is still under MAJOR construction at the moment, but I am working on it... :)

www.angelacollins.checkoutmypage.com

Another year

Another year older and certainly not wiser... hehehe. Does anyone ever feel wiser when they age? I don't even feel older for the most part. That is, until I hop up to the gym and try and keep up with the 20 year olds and suddenly I've turned 95!! hehehe So, here it is my 32nd birthday and it's more of a non-event and I kinda like it that way... But I would like some wisdom to kick in, that'd be nice.

Kids

Wow... so don't get me wrong once you read this. I love kids... I love being an auntie to my brother's kids and all my friends' kids... but I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE KIDS!!! I think that after eating, breathing and sleeping kids for 180 days of the year, I just don't want to deal with them. I don't want to hear the sound of a whine, whimper or cry when I am in a restaurant or somewhere else that I think should be equally quiet. I know it sounds harsh and cold... but it isn't. I do love kids. I love to cuddle with them, read to them, have them read to me, play with them, talk with them, write them letters and all that stuff... but once I am on holidays and at a beach or something, I DO NOT want to hear them... see them sure, but not hear them. You know that old saying: "Kids should be seen and not heard." My parents used to say that to my brother as I as kids and I used to get offended, feeling like they thought I was an inferior person or something just because I was a child... but now I realise they were just looking out for the fragile psyche of all those adults who had chosen a life without children of their own. Iam one of those people. I've never really wanted children, and while I think babies etc are cute, I do not want to hold them or carry them or be drooled on by them... So yea, time with my brother's kids and my friends' kids have really helped to cement in my mind that while I would make a pretty awesome mom, I DON'T WANT TO BE A MOM!!
Good thing I am still single then, eh? hehehehe

Too private

Sounds intriguing, that title, doesn't it? Well... it isn't anything special. I just thought I should explain why I haven't been blogging. All the stuff I want to write about it too personal and close to my mind and heart to lay out there for the public. Lately, I've been doubting some things and people around me and it is causing some turmoil. Do I doubt with good reason... sure. Does it suck to doubt... SURE! I'm having to think hard about what I want and how I want to get that, and I think I have come to a decision, but I don't want to be rash... so cryptic, I know. *sigh* no worries, it isn't anything life shattering... it is just part of daily life. ^^

cross-roads and confusion

Have you ever reached a stage in your life where you are unsure of what you want or where to go? Lots of little events and circumstances in my life have kind of brought me to that point... and while it sucks, I am sure I will grow from it. ^^

I have things to write about stuff I have been doing around Seoul, but I want to load pics to go with it... so be patient with me kids!! hehehe. I will get to it soon, but didn' t want anyone to think I dropped off the face of the earth. Just been busy and confused!! :)

Forwards

You know, usually I just delete all forwards that end up in my email inbox unless they come from Ali, my mom or someone that just doesn't send them often. Today I got one from my friend Sonya (Shawanda... to those of you who know her alter-ego) and it really touched me... if you didn't get a forward from me or you deleted it... please check it out here. It's good stuff.

http://cjcphoto.com/can/

It's just like riding a bicycle...

Oh it is, is it?! I don't know what you are thinking (dear reader), but I am talking about bicycles for real. Today, I decided that I was going to get one so that I can leisurely ride along the riverside near my house. I thought it would be a great way to get a little sun, "fresh" air and excercise all rolled into one. Let me tell you about how you go about getting a bicycle in Korea.
First of all, I mentioned it to those here who already have bikes. I asked them questions about where to get one for a decent price because all I needed was something that goes... no fancy-shmancy things... just wheels, a seat, and a frame holding it all together. So I got the word that Lotte Mart had some... now, those of you who have never been to the Lotte Mart in Chamsil cannot appreciate what an outing this can be, so let me paint the picture for you.
First of all, I drove, thinking that this would be the best way to get the bike home (I live about 10 minutes drive away). So, after ripping along the rode (at the rate that traffic would allow), I made a U-turn (totally legal at almost ALL intersections in Korea) and got in line to enter the parking lot under the Lotte World Hotel and shopping space. This is an entire city block, squared. Of course I had to be waved in by a man with white gloves... he made motions that would confuse the most amazing of all third base coaches and catchers in baseball and underground I went. Where I was greeted by a woman in white gloves who chattered at me in Korean, waved her hand in equally an exciting way as the man and then handed me my parking ticket. Yes, that's right, in Korea you don't lean out the window to press a button, you simply open your window and a worker in white gloves hands it to you.... although, just because some of you have dirty minds, please be sure that they were wearing other clothes as well, not just the white gloves. Okay... so then you spiral closer to the centre of the earth to find a parking spot and then take an elevator up into the bowels of the shopping centre.
Once you are in the shopping centre, aka the maze, you must find your location and there are few with the English skills to truly help you. First I was told that bicycles are sold on the first floor of Lotte Mart, but there seemed only to be make-up... so I went to B1, where I had to wander through all the food aisles and do a little charades to help the staff know that I wanted to buy a bike. Of course this caused endless amusement for the Korean shoppers and brought the PMS me to near tears... but then I just had to laugh. I knew how ridiculous I did look... so then the staff of B1 told me to go to the 4th floor... no, the 5th floor... no, no, the 2nd floor... no, no, no... wait! It was indeed on the 1st floor but because of the new good weather, it was outside the front doors near the "parking station" to quote the staff.
So, feeling spun around like a top, I found the escalator and made my way to the ground floor again. Out the doors I went to face the scared looking bicycle sales staff. The smiled... turned red and pushed the one with the most English at me. I found a bike that was in my price range, didn't look too hokey and that the salesman said was good. I purchased said bike with my credit card (don't tell my mom... I've been so good lately about using it... hahaha, yea right!!) and then told the guy I'd be back with my car. He smiled, nodded and said "see you lata"
So back through the bowels of the shopping centre, down the elevator to the earth's core and into my car. Since I had the receipt I didn't need to pay the exhorbitant fee for parking there and pulled my car around to where the bikes were. Trouble is that at the "parking station" there are no parking spots - they are all roped off for the sales, and so I illegally parked in a cross-walk and ran to find my helper guy. He smiled... wheeled my bike around and stopped short when he say my little car (it is a 4 door sedan, but not built to carry a mountain bike). At first he thought it was going to be impossible but then a light went on, his finger shot into the air and he said "one moment, puh-lease-uh." I smiled and said "okay-uh!" He scurried away and came back later carrying a wad of ribbon. With this he put my bike mostly in the trunk, strapped it down with ribbon and with a flourish, tied down the trunk... I was delighted and scared as hell to drive away like that...
So back onto the big road... trying not to sail over the bumps and home I went... needless to say, the bike and I arrived in one piece.
Now I just gotta ride it!!! Wish me luck.... hehehe

update on angst

Many of you have either posted a comment here or emailed me about the angst issue. It's good to know that you support my lack of angst. In fact, I was speaking to the other person in the relationship via chat today and it came to me... I have no expectations for the relationship (and that is by design - so that things take their natural course without my or his pushing or pressuring) and neither does he and that is why there is no angst. We are happily getting to know each other as people and so the distance doesn't affect that. So yea... no angst, no worries, no overanalyzing... *sigh* seems simple, doesn't it? I like it... and the best part is that my partner in crime (hahaha, I am sure he'll love that) is on the same page. So thanks supporters!! hehehe

Spring Fever

Yup, it's that time again where it doesn't matter what kind of work I have to do, all I want to do is be outside, enjoying the spring weather. Spring is finally peaking its face out and Korea is getting prettier by the day. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, the plum blossoms too, and the magnolias have gone through one set of blooms and look ready to do it again. The trees are all sporting new green leaves and shrubs are blooming too. This is my favorite time in Korea, and my favorite time in the classroom.
Finally, all my students (well, ALMOST all) are independent and can be trusted to follow instructions and complete tasks on their own. It is so gratifying to see that 8 months of hard work, planning, blood, sweat and tears has paid off.
Recently I have been compiling their scores etc for my action study project so that I can track the success of my students and their achievements under the program I have begun to use and I was blown away. We are ahead of the other classes in the materials and outcomes covered and the kids can actually discuss themselves as students. They know their strengths and weaknesses and are learning ways to cope. It is amazing to see. Their parents were equally amazed when they saw them during student-led conferences. Which, by the way, you need to try if you are a teacher of young children. It is priceless!!!

Long time and long distance...

Okay... it has been ages since I last really wrote on here. I guess I've been trying to journal in the real world instead of in cyberspace... but I like both. How to strike a balance? Hm... food for thought, that is.... the other part of this article is to seek advice or opinions about long distance relationships... I think I've found myself in one and I don't feel all the angst that people say I should... so am I really in the relationship then? I've been asked out by other guys though since I started the relationship and that doesn' t interest me... so... hm... more food for thought. Anyway... that's all the rambling I have for now

Bali Hali

This is one of the gates near our resort... how cool looking is that?

More gate/pond thingy...
Super sunburned me... hot, huh?

My travelling co-horts...

Aw... so cute... but they are unpredictable.

The view from our hotel...

Crazy Signs in Tokyo

Really this is the parking exit sign... but I think it is just telling people to pout... so... do it!!

Dunno what this is all about, but we saw it in Harajuku and I had to get a snap.

This might be my favourite sign from my time in Tokyo... how cute is that?!

So, if you haven't figured it out yet, I went to Tokyo. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Raymond and I went to a conference on Differentiation in Yokohama, which is just 40 minutes outside Tokyo. We made use of all our free time to hit the streets of Tokyo. We went to Shibuya (made famous in that movie, Lost in Translation), Shinjuku (very cool and loads of shopping), Harajuku (famous for their harajuku girls - made famous by Gwen Stefani - and all the crazy shopping there), and Asakusa (my favourite... lots of street markets, the temple, and little boutiques). Are you seeing a theme here? SHOPPING!!! hehehe. Tokyo is a blast, but I'm not sure I could live there...

Next entry? My trip to Bali and Singapore... yes, yes, I know.... you all hate me!! I can live with that. *^^*

posting...

I realised how lazy I am at this when I looked up my friend April's blog... she rocks the house. I need to be better at it, but just can't seem to find the time. At least not this month. I'm travelling, taking my masters class, coaching and trying to stay sane!! haha So... be patient loyal readers (all 4 or 5 of you)!! hehehe

New things...

My really good friend just sent me photos of her new thing... a beautiful baby girl named Alicia. She is gorgeous!! Seems like lots of people around me are getting new things like this. I guess it is just that stage in the phases of life. Before they all got married and now they are all having kids. I don't envy them though... it is a lot of responsibility and lost sleep. I know they will all argue with me and tell me it is the greatest thing in the world, but at this stage in the phases of my life... this is one new thing I can do without!! :)

Learning about faith...

A few weeks back one of my students (7 years old) suffered a loss that I couldn't imagine. Her father died of an agressive form of cancer. She wasn't aware how sick he was and he passed away fairly soon after his diagnosis. It was a shock. She asked for me to come to the hospital and to be with the family at the time of the funeral (which in Korea can last from 1-3 days and consists of paying respects to the departed and his or her family and then eating with them and sitting with them during their time of official mourning). Of course I agreed (which meant the loss of a day of snowboarding for my friends and me - my first ever trip). When I got to the hospital, she greeted me and her mother and I spent some time in tears. Then the little girl took me into the room where the body and alter were. She told me what to do and I followed her instructions. It was sad. I prayed for that family as I layed the flower on the alter for the father, who was much to young to die and leave his family. I also prayed for myself, to be honest. I prayed that I could teach this little girl and help her through her grief. All through that funeral time and ever since, she hasn't cried... not once, not a drop. Nor has she complained or been sad. Her mother questioned me about it and I looked to the research on grief and grief counselling and I found that it comes in waves for kids and that just maybe she didn't get it. So I spoke to her about it as did another teacher. Her response? "Do you wanna know why I don't cry? Because, my daddy is in heaven now. He isn't sick anymore and I'm gonna see him later so it's okay."
Faith. That was her answer: Faith that her daddy was okay; faith that her daddy wasn't hurting or sick anymore; faith that he was somewhere she could go; faith that she would see him there when the time was right. I have been learning a lot from her, learning that she posesses the kind of faith we are all called to have and that it's easy for her because she has the uncomplicated view of a child. She isn't stupid or brain-washed. No one told her to say those things, it came straight from her heart, her heart of faith.

Rough week...

So today I was suposed to try out snowboarding for the first time ever.... I was nervous but excited... and then in came the call. One of my students, her dad passed away. The mom asked me to please come to the funeral, which is not the same as in western cultures. I couldn't refuse, my student asked for me specifically. So I went. It was so sad... my student is just 7 years old. Her dad isn't that much older than me and he suddenly passed from cancer. I can't image being that young and without a dad. It sure makes me appreciate my blessed childhood and life so much more. I offered to do what I could for the mother... she is just about the sweetest lady ever. My student said we were like sisters and in a strange way I felt like we were. Those of you who were praying and sending your thoughts, thank you. I believe that the dad went quickly and with less pain because of them... I also believe that the family has more comfort because of them. Keep praying for this family, it is a tremendous loss.

Clapton in Concert

Yup, that's right folks... you read it here first. Eric Clapton had a concert here in Korea tonight and I went... for a huge price of course, but it was fun. I went with a huge group of people from school and it was so much fun. We danced, clapped, laughed and shared a quick drink before going. Although, Clapton only gave one "ankle - Korean for encore."
Maybe there will be more odd concert details in the future, but for now... gotta go to sleep... two late nights in a row (I am beginning to sound like such a grandma!!).

Nighty-night dearies.

A New Diet and Money Saving Plan!!

That's right all you diet hungry folk out there... here is the new plan, and it won't cost you anything... in fact, if you work it like I did, you will actually save money!! Ready for it? Here it is: Get the flu that keeps coming back!! I have had it twice this week and so instead of dropping in on a wine party, birthday party and a going away party, I am sitting at home in my sweats doing my best to keep the little I am able to eat down... gross, I know... but there is always a positive side, right? Well... here is my take on the positive side of this: I've been wanting to jump start a more healthy eating lifestyle by monitoring my portions and I've also been concerned about going out too much and spending too much money. Well, the flu that keeps coming back is so the answer!! I can't go out because I feel horrible for the moment (seems to go away after 24 hours and come back in 4 or 5 days for another round) and so that saves me money and from injesting huge numbers of calories at all these gatherings I am supposed to be at. See? There is an up side... there is always an up side!!

Too Many Passwords...

Have you ever come to the realisation that you have too many passwords? I have recently... I have this site, myspace.com, a couple of friend sites, my 3 email addresses (not counting the school ones), my student blog site, a couple of shopping sites and a WAYN.com site... and all of them have slightly different passwords!! Do you think I can keep track?! Of course not... I am utterly lost most of the time and have to ask the computer to send it to my email (which I do remember all of the time, amazing how important communication can be, isn't it?) almost every other week. Yikes!
Here is the real shame though, that we need to have all these cryptic passwords in the first place. I understand the need, but what does that say about society in general? No honor in the honor system anymore is there? Hm... deep thoughts... ha ha ha... yea, right!
Well, something for you to chew on. Enjoy.
Next time... existentialism....

Getting ready to leave...

Just a couple more days before I go home. Sounds strange to say it like that, but Korea is more home to me than Canada at the moment. I love coming here, and I love being with friends and family, but I miss my life in Korea... believe it or not folks, I actually have one!! So back to that in a few days!!!
For all you in Seoul, I'll be home on Saturday evening! See you then.

Another year come and gone

So the year is almost over... just hours away (about 7.5 hours to be exact) and I sit here and wonder what I have accomplished, and then my mind wanders to what I will resolve not to do or to do for the next year. So... accomplishments: hm... well, I have definitely accomplished the unwanted and unnecessary gain of weight... and I have accomplished almost all of my masters degree (just 3 more courses and a thesis paper to go). So it isn't all bad stuff. But I haven't accomplished as much as I maybe wanted to... I don't know.
Resolutions: hm... I think these are dangerous to make because they kind of set you up for failure, don't they? So I think I will resolve to just try harder in the things that I do and to have a longer list of positive accomplishments this time next year.
Oh... did you hear this one? Apparently (listen up single and desperate ladies) if you wear red undies tonight when the clock strikes midnight you will be guarateed to fall in love and/or get married over the course of the next year... I think as a matter of scientific experiment my friends and I are going to try it... ha ha ha!!! Just kidding!