Oh it is, is it?! I don't know what you are thinking (dear reader), but I am talking about bicycles for real. Today, I decided that I was going to get one so that I can leisurely ride along the riverside near my house. I thought it would be a great way to get a little sun, "fresh" air and excercise all rolled into one. Let me tell you about how you go about getting a bicycle in Korea.
First of all, I mentioned it to those here who already have bikes. I asked them questions about where to get one for a decent price because all I needed was something that goes... no fancy-shmancy things... just wheels, a seat, and a frame holding it all together. So I got the word that Lotte Mart had some... now, those of you who have never been to the Lotte Mart in Chamsil cannot appreciate what an outing this can be, so let me paint the picture for you.
First of all, I drove, thinking that this would be the best way to get the bike home (I live about 10 minutes drive away). So, after ripping along the rode (at the rate that traffic would allow), I made a U-turn (totally legal at almost ALL intersections in Korea) and got in line to enter the parking lot under the Lotte World Hotel and shopping space. This is an entire city block, squared. Of course I had to be waved in by a man with white gloves... he made motions that would confuse the most amazing of all third base coaches and catchers in baseball and underground I went. Where I was greeted by a woman in white gloves who chattered at me in Korean, waved her hand in equally an exciting way as the man and then handed me my parking ticket. Yes, that's right, in Korea you don't lean out the window to press a button, you simply open your window and a worker in white gloves hands it to you.... although, just because some of you have dirty minds, please be sure that they were wearing other clothes as well, not just the white gloves. Okay... so then you spiral closer to the centre of the earth to find a parking spot and then take an elevator up into the bowels of the shopping centre.
Once you are in the shopping centre, aka the maze, you must find your location and there are few with the English skills to truly help you. First I was told that bicycles are sold on the first floor of Lotte Mart, but there seemed only to be make-up... so I went to B1, where I had to wander through all the food aisles and do a little charades to help the staff know that I wanted to buy a bike. Of course this caused endless amusement for the Korean shoppers and brought the PMS me to near tears... but then I just had to laugh. I knew how ridiculous I did look... so then the staff of B1 told me to go to the 4th floor... no, the 5th floor... no, no, the 2nd floor... no, no, no... wait! It was indeed on the 1st floor but because of the new good weather, it was outside the front doors near the "parking station" to quote the staff.
So, feeling spun around like a top, I found the escalator and made my way to the ground floor again. Out the doors I went to face the scared looking bicycle sales staff. The smiled... turned red and pushed the one with the most English at me. I found a bike that was in my price range, didn't look too hokey and that the salesman said was good. I purchased said bike with my credit card (don't tell my mom... I've been so good lately about using it... hahaha, yea right!!) and then told the guy I'd be back with my car. He smiled, nodded and said "see you lata"
So back through the bowels of the shopping centre, down the elevator to the earth's core and into my car. Since I had the receipt I didn't need to pay the exhorbitant fee for parking there and pulled my car around to where the bikes were. Trouble is that at the "parking station" there are no parking spots - they are all roped off for the sales, and so I illegally parked in a cross-walk and ran to find my helper guy. He smiled... wheeled my bike around and stopped short when he say my little car (it is a 4 door sedan, but not built to carry a mountain bike). At first he thought it was going to be impossible but then a light went on, his finger shot into the air and he said "one moment, puh-lease-uh." I smiled and said "okay-uh!" He scurried away and came back later carrying a wad of ribbon. With this he put my bike mostly in the trunk, strapped it down with ribbon and with a flourish, tied down the trunk... I was delighted and scared as hell to drive away like that...
So back onto the big road... trying not to sail over the bumps and home I went... needless to say, the bike and I arrived in one piece.
Now I just gotta ride it!!! Wish me luck.... hehehe
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2 comments:
That is the most hilarious yet entertaining blog I ever read. By the way, I think they sell it at Costco too.
GIRL you are going to get run over if you try to ride a bike in Seoul!!! I seem to remember seeing several twisted and dead bikes as we careened around the city in taxis. Now I will have to pray for you twice daily.
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